This is the story
Of an army of monkeys.
They killed all. The end.

Refrigerator.
Is a household appliance.
Air conditioner.

Up on the rooftop
I left a used bar of soap.
Santa’s crippled now...

This pencil writes fast!
Fast in pursuit of Justice!
Onward! Justice, ho!

In human hist’ry
All of man’s bad ideas
Start with “Well, what if...?”

One plus one is two!
Two plus two is always four!
Math is all and none.

This be a poem
that does not need to make sense.
MURLOC SANDWICH BREAD!

God is not a man.
He’s an almighty gecko.
Geckos are awesome.

I stop to play Go.
Then I stop Go to go on
Then Go stops. Confused?

When all else fails...
All you gotta do is dance.
E.B.A. Style!

Trees, trees. Here and there.
All of them just standing there.
I need matches now.


A sandbox yonder.
Oh, wait, no. A quick-sand box.
Uh-oh. Where’s the car?

I wonder if one
Could... rap a haiku at all.
...That would be... awkward.

I’ll rap this haiku!
I rap it in front of you!
I can’t rap for squat...

A large elephant.
Quite redundant, is it not?
Like hungry gluttons.

If I had a wish...
I’d wish the impossible.
Just for many lol’s.

Peter Piper picked
A pirana out the lake.
Now he’s no fingers.

A paladin fights
With the strength of holy light
But what if at night?

One, two, three, four, five!
Everybody count to five!
Everybody now!

I write this haiku
On top a bench in the park
My butt really hurts.

Twenty haikus now.
A minute and a half left.
Keep going! Keep on!

Acronyms are short.
Acronym is kinda long.
Oxymoron, yes.

Thirty seconds left!
Write faster, harder, stronger!
I need Daft Punk now!

Yoda now, talk like.
Talk like Jedi, now you must.
Funny, Yoda talks.

I got to thinking...
If I think for way too long,
Will my head explode?

Five seconds are left!
Cheat, cheat and get another
Haiku in right now!

The contest is done
But I’ll write with my hammer
Writer’s Block’s best bane!

Over and under
And all around the edges
The Earth is to me.

If you train your brain
All in minutes in a day,
what will happen then?

Garfield was right.
Mondays really do suck bad.
Damn curs-ed Mondays!

Note to self: never
go swimming in temp-a-tures
Of less than freezing.

I’m supposed to sleep.
To be in bed now. Sleeping.
But I’m on a roll!

A pirate and orc
walk into a small tavern.
There’s no more tavern.

I have found the cure!
The cure to a Writer’s Block!
Use a Haiku now.

I bet the artists
Spend a lot of time drawing.
I can’t draw for squat.

Sleep is taking toll.
I should really get to bed.
Before I get Blocked.